Alone in the Rain

This is a poem I found at DeviantArt that I feel relate to..

-----
Standing out here alone in the rain
Trying to wash away all of my pain
Drowning the sorrows from past years
Hiding from my nightmares and fears

The rain just gets harder and faster
I miss the good times and the laughter
I hide from it out here in the wet and cold
And I suffer from the things I've been told

The rain follows where tears once went
The rain like the pain shows no repent
I suffer for everything I am deep inside
And I remember the tears I once cried

I look around and see puddles of rain
Getting deeper and deeper like the pain
The puddles that used to be puddles of tears
The feelings and thoughts from all my fears

I can't explain to you the way I feel
And maybe by standing here I'll heal
It'll somehow wash away some of the pain
And I'll just stand here alone in the rain.
------

hmm.. we are always hoping that by crying, all the pains will wash away.. it did not, it's like pain killer.. after it wear off, you'll feel it again..
oh.. I have hidden wish that I could stand alone in the rain too..close my eyes while let the rain pouring down my face.. the feeling, is unexplainable..

oh.. I watched The Day after Tomorrow again today.. it's a good movie.. and scary. You can see people's desperation to be safe.. the scene where american were so desperate that they cross mexico's line illegally almost made me cry.. I dunno why tho.. it's not sad or nething but I feel like crying..

I spend most of the morning and evening on the computer (I have tuition class in the afternoon..but the computer was stayed on because I was downloading stuffs) ... tomorrow I'll try to persuade myself to study! oh b4 that, I'll have to clean up my room.. and got to wash my school's bag.It's so dirty (becoz I put it on the floor at school.. I hate to sit in a chair with bag on it too). Then.. I'll study! well.. have to finish my english's essays first (2 of them)..oh..lots to do!

The end of school comes nearer.. people started to ask me about my ambition.. what I want to study.. hish,, I really have no idea.. I prefer to study arts.. but,,, my parents discourage.. can't even be an architect.. it's not that they object strictly.. they said if I really want.. go on.. but I don't feel easy if they don;t like it.. so..I'm thinking ..medic..or computer engineering..or anything!! but,, I really want to go to england.. I won't care what major I'm in as long as it's in England. Oh.. one thing.. I really really don't want to study anything related to Chemistry.. I just couldn't like it.. Hmm.. If not england.. maybe Germany.. I can meet my penpal, Manja there! it'll be such a pleasant experience!

Hmm.. when can I feel easy.. or at least easier than now?