The Reason

I need to learn how to calm down. Everytime I have to present something or say something aloud in class I started to shake .. and my hands will turn real cold. I hate that, I will say rubbish things and people will start to laugh at me especially the boys. An even my closest friends laugh at me. There are times when I feel very depressed because even my friends didn't support me. But I am learning now. I hope I could be a better person tomorrow. A person that doesn't need her friends' support much. Just stand on my own with God by my side. I wish I could be that kind of person tomorrow, for real.

I'm not a perfect person
there's many things that I wish I didn't do
but I continue learning
I never meant to say those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
to change who I use to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
it's something that I must to live with everyday
and all the things that I've put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all of your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
to change who I use to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you

Oh.. I like the lyric. Especially the 'catches all you tears' part.
At school this morning my history teacher, Mr Ezaidin told me that I'm talented and I shouldn't put it at waste. I should continue to shine it. Lol. (Actually he saw my 'eye' drawing that I did in a presentation paper). I'm flattered but I know that's all God's gift to me. There's nothing to proud of, besides there's thousand people in this world who is more gifted than me. But that doesn't mean I should put what I've got at rest. I'll continue practicing although I won't take a major in art.
I've been thinking what should I do to give something to the Muslim community. Or something that I could do with my talent to be use as a platform to spread the da'wa. Because God didn't give me this talent for nothing. My mission for life is to do what God ask and what He wants me to do.
I've observed that people nowadays have forgotten what's their life purpose. They just live to fulfil their heart's desire. Never think or bother to remember what exactly they should do. That's why many social problems occur such as suicide, rape, murder, sex b4 marriage and all sorts of sinful things. Many muslim have forgotten their way of life, be a muslim just in names but they don't perform what they should've done as a muslim (solat, cover their bodies, etc etc..).
I could cry just to think of it. Wake up oh muslims!

Oh, it's maghrib time already. Pen off!