Wednesday, December 29, 2004

So much has happened. So much to tell. But I barely have time to write it all. For the first time since I've finished the SPM, I need to admit that I'M BUSY. It's 2.08 a.m. I just got up from my sleep, will continue it after I've finished writing this.

I've started my job as a teacher.Since 27th December. English teacher to be specific. (I hear you laugh). I'm worried and afraid because as many have known, my English isn't good. Not good at all. Of course I can write well (and ignore grammar mistakes), but I can't speak English well. I'll go numb and speechless (and stutter) if anyone expected me to say something in English. But, oh well... I know I can, just lack practices.

I'll teach year 2 (1 class) , 4 (a class,but I'll teach them Kajian Tempatan -literally translated: local edu, eh?) and 5 (2 classes). I'll work until March 2. Oh, I've to work every day! this week, everyday ends at 4 o'clock. But for next week and the weeks after that, just until 2.30 pm. Tiring.

Ok, enough about work. I went to Kuala Lumpur on Saturday till Sunday. Well, I went to Times Square on Sat because my sisters and brothers wanted to play at the theme park there. I've went to that theme park.. so I didn't want to go again. So I took the opportunities to shop! well, nothing much I bought, just a new bag and sandal. and reader's digest.

On Sunday, my cousins, sisters and I went to Suria KLCC by LRT. There, we separated and 2 of my sisters and I went to Kinokuniya. I bought 2 new novels titled 'Baby Shoes' and 'Or Give Me Death'. Haven't finished read any of them yet. Looking forward to it. Then I ate 2 pretzels. Yummy. And a rotiboy. Very2 yummy.

I didn't remember when I heard about the tsunami news first. Devastating eh? I was shocked and still am now. Never occurred to me that it could happen here in Malaysia. I feel sad. Maybe it was a retribution from God. (and they still want to party at the park.. countdown etc2..).
It happened here, where many Muslims live. And many Muslims died. I don't think it's just an earthquake... it's a sign. A sign to tell that the end of the world is approaching. To awaken the Muslims. But many Muslims just ignore the sign... and continue snoring... and snoring...
Sad. I feel sad.

A good thing when being a teacher is I can sit and eat lunch with my former teachers. And listen to their opinions from the point of view as an adult. And made me feel like an adult. :). One of my teacher, (my aunt actually), told about an earthquake that happened years back when she was in Egypt. When it occurred, it felt like the world has ended. Like this is it! i'm going to die. People screaming and running out from their apartments. Some of them even jumped out from higher levels because they're too afraid. And there was a person who went out naked. My other teacher, who was experienced the same thing, said even she was so scared that she didn't even covered her hair running outside. Her brother, just wore a towel. Embarrassment was ignored. People won't care about anything else but themselves. That is.. desperation. That is... a sign.

... but people still don't care. still want to party. and countdown.... want to wait until when? until the last second of their lives?

"Al-Qariah (1) Mal Qariah (2) Wa Ma Adrokamal Qariah (3) ... "
~surah Al-Qariah 1-3 , Al-Quran Kareem

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

"It's been less than 12 hours since the release date of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and publication is more than 200 days away, and the book is already the #1 Bestseller at amazon.com and barnesandnobles.com
-the-leaky-cauldron.org

I actually laughed when I read that news. Sometimes people are just too obsessed , eh? Fortunately I'm not one of them. hehe. Well, actually I never buy anything from the internet. Maybe if I can, I'll pre-order too. Haha.

Today is boring. There's no water. We went to my mum's friend house to take a bath. Haha. It was so embarrassing. Luckily the auntie was so nice and friendly. And due to the absence of water, my mum didn't cook. We ordered pizzas. This time, it's Vivo pizzas. I don't like it much. I prefer Domino's. And for dinner, we'll go out and eat at a restaurant. Great! It has been a very long time since I went to any restaurant.

Tonight I have to attend a meeting. I prefer not to go, though. But I'm the one who persuaded everyone to attend it. I really don't want to go...

And I'm having headache!

Now I have something to complain. I don't have enough holiday! hah! and I didn't accomplish all the things I've planned before. I don't even learn how to paint yet! it's not fair...I didn't draw much either. Have I wasted too much time? What have I done, eh? And next week I'll start working. I don't even travel to places yet. Not even Kuala Lumpur. (maybe I'll go this weekend). I've been longing to go Langkawi. I thought I could go this holiday. But my father is too busy with his works... hmm. Maybe other times.. not today. not now...

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

"It's official! July 16, 2005, will bring the sixth book in the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in the UK, the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa"
Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince's release date will be announced any time now.
Oh, I can't wait for it to be released.

I'm not in a good condition right now. I found that it's hard to breath. No, not because of JKR's announcement. No, not because I'm excited over something. I'm actually mad, angry and stressed out! stressed out of the behaviours and attitudes of people. Some people are just too insensitive. They are stupid or what... so oblivious. I know, they're not stupid. Just oblivious, maybe. Never try to mind their words. Never think of others'feeling.

I'm not sure I can stand this kind of people for long. But surprisingly I've be'friend' with one of them for ,um, nearly 9 years... Maybe I'm a hypocrite. But I'm just , uh, too kind? no.. I'm a coward. I'm so afraid I'll hurt anyone's feeling. I'm not an out-spoken person. Actually I hate people who is very very outspoken. Outspoken is fine.. but 'very very' , I can't stand them. As a coward, of course I never said anything that I think might offend them. But how about my own feeling? sometimes I think I'm the only person who cares about others' feeling and that's not fair.

I ended up hating lots of people. I know it's bad. I've tried not to. But people did the same mistakes again and again and the hatred keep coming, and keep coming... Maybe it's my fault not telling them their mistakes *sigh. I don't know how I can survive until now...

Okay, I can breath properly now. But I'm having headache pulak!. Sorry... I never wrote anything like this before, eh? maybe I'm just too mad. I don't know with whom can I share my feelings. Just this blog..
Ok! ignore me.. just for this post though :p

Gee.. I'm still waiting for the release date. When will they announce it? it's already 21st Dec there in england right?

I'm not doing any progress on the layout too!
I did some search on hosts. Well, I'm not deciding yet. I think I should stay with blogger for a while. Just for a while. I need to learn much more things about website building.I don't want my site brings troubles to others.

Okay, that's that. For now...

Monday, December 20, 2004

Owh, new layout!
It's not like the one I showed before, but have some similarities. I'm sick of that old layout. Anyway, this layout hasn't finished yet. There are many things that I need to change and to work with.

I really hope people don't mind ads and pop-ups, because they are the easiest things I'm afford to do :). I'm just hosted by blogger and geocities, so... hehe.. But the geocities's ads can be removed with just one click. Hope they won't bother people much.
Maybe in the future I'll search for a suitable host to host my site.

I changed the comment system to haloscan. So, all my previous comments have gone..
The blogger's system is kinda unsuitable for non-'blogger layout'.

Well, actually my mood was kinda low, I was actually thinking to stop blogging and stop log on to the net. So, with this layout changing, I hope my spirit will rise ..
Ganbatte!

EDIT Tag board or not? tag board or not? I put it up anyway.. maybe I'll put it off when i think it doesn't bring me any good :P .

The images in the 'Arts', I haven't put the links yet. I'll do it later! It's midnight! I need to have enough sleep cuz tomorrow morning I have to go to school.. there's some sort of reunion thingy for my batch.. ahh.. nighty night! er.. morning , it's a.m already :p

p/s: cheers, aneesah :)

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Dissapointed

I'm so tired. Today I went to a 3 hours pre-L course for theory. Tomorrow I'll have another 3 hours or this pre-L thingy, but for practical. When you heard the word theory, whaddya expect? huh.. long talk and babbling. Imagine..the class I attended had 50 something students, and we had to surround a tiny 'kancil' car. It was so hot and I was perspiring perfusely. I stood for about two hours under the hot sun, couldn't pay much attention to the instructor.

Also, today I met my ex-classmate! At first, I didn't recognise her at all , just that i thought her face was familiar. But when the clerk there called out her name, I was shocked that I actually opened my mouth! but covered up with my hand shortly after that (mouth still opened!). I didn't believe it was her. She didn't wear hijab.. wore a very tight jeans with blaus.. and make-up! I doubt she didn;t recognise me, because I'm easily recognisable (the one and only person who wore long hijab there) . Maybe she was embarrased, I don't know. I was so very dissapointed! eventhough she didn't finish islamic school... she shouldn't wear outfits like that... (she left the school in standard 4, what am I to expect?) ... I'm so dissapointed and sad. Afterall, she is a muslim too. We can't have a principal like, I'm not in islamic school anymore, I don't have to wear properly. Gee.. she made me angry.
I'm dissapointed with the whole students in that class.. I thought many of them were chinese.. wore tight shirt and jeans.. not to forget make-up.. but when the clerk called out their names.. just one of them is really chinese! they are all muslims. I wonder what they think their life purpose is... I feel it's my responsible to lead all of them.. outside, there are still thousands and thousands muslims who are like that. Every muslims who are understand.. who are concern, who called themselves muslims are 'wajib' to do the da'wa. It's not 'sunat' anymore. If we look our surrounding right now, it's critical.. nowadays, muslims who are doing the right thing, are called weird, jerk.. 'skema'.. we have to change that attitude! ... ghuraba'.. ghuraba'

okay... I have only one good news.. I got the job! I'm going to be a teacher! I will start on the 27th! there will be a teacher's course.. heee... I'm a teacher!
I thought when SPM is over, I'll have plenty of times to waste.. but now, I'm so busy.. everyone thought we are free.. so they gave us many works! haha..

Friday, December 17, 2004

I can't see clearly... I'm not wearing my glasses right now. (unfortunately I misplaced it.. can't remember where.. hish.. I'm such a careless person, first I broke my glasses.. then misplaced it) .. I'll go to Angsana (a shopping mall) and fetch(is fetch rite?) my new glasses at 10.30 am.

My aunt and family just arrived this morning.. very early in the morning about 6 o'clock.
My dad asked why I'm not painting again.. uh.. I really don't have the time and the right mood. But I know, I need to practice to be a good artist. (haha). He said, just start with easy things.. solid objects.. like fruits.. mug..
Painting fruits is kinda very common. I think every artist has an experience of painting fruits.. that's why I'm not interested to paint them. (but I have to try, right? .. just, when?)
I'm not drawing either nowadays.. how I miss it. But I don't have a suitable time for it. Maybe next week, after all programmes has ended.. (this week is kinda busy.. with 3 days convention programme, meetings.. and meetings... and driving! and my glasses' issues.)

Tomorrow I'll be a faci for an Explorace programme.. heh.. just around JB (city where I live). This race is for teens from 13 to 17.. actually it's a two days programme.. but I can't go for the second day because of my driving couse's stuff. Have to hand my team to someone else.
Oh, It;s already 10.30! I have to phoned my dad ,, he'll bring me to Angsana..

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Oh, lil bro..

My brother, Ahmad made a blog.. well, actually, I made it for him. He wanted a blog so much. You can visit it by clicking this! .. btw, it's in malay.. I actually like the second last entry there.. about how he became a hafiz . He was such a pain when building this.. he wanted to put everything in his blog. By the way.. he's 14 years old.

Now it's 9.05 a.m. .. I'll go and take the law test on 11 o'clock. Wish me luck :)

EDIT

I passed!


Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Mendung

I broke my glasses... new glasses.
I'm not feeling well, emotionally.
Urgh..
I think I need to have some breakfast...

something to cheer me up...

Reason why I never visit rich people!!

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?" Answer: "tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?

" Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?

" Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?

" Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst".


Tuesday, December 14, 2004

ASCii

I bought a new hand phone yesterday. My dad chose the cheapest phone available at the shop. I don't mind though, as long as I can use it, receive calls.. and smsing.. . It's motorola C115.
Well, nothing much to say. I'll have the 'road law' test on Thursday. I haven't read the book entirely yet.
My sister is baby-sittiing now at one of the nursery here. I don't mind watching over babies, but I can't stand their loud long cries or changing pampers/napkins. But if I have my own childrens, of course I'll try to stand it. Haha. I really want a cute baby. Really.
I found a very interesting programme called ASCii.art. It can convert images (jpeg, jpg, gif etc2) to ascii image like combination of numbers, like the ascii art below (this is my drawing on the layout, remember?)
If anyone wants this programme, just inform me, I'll e-mail it. It's not that big .. just 107 kb. Interesting eh? but it's not really that cool.. because what differentiate the numbers are their colours.. if there's no colour, you won't know what's the image is..
03768279806143917534
59493441493016798922
25344117803947036260
01583223993055163801
19950055332301343668
79052360280590802757
49778508394505678195
55820054398369297414
34888646216894218280
95641030983186240041
21625936511318221811
68730621463199780965
97384847071865677608
54834002087130945000
38539345432804070901
3750878387225408230


Monday, December 13, 2004

Driver-to-be

Yesterday I've registered to take the driving license. Yay! and yesterday also, I've taken the 5 hours course before the road law thingy test. Well, quite boring. And I was kinda scared because I met all kinds of people... I'm not really used to outside world surrounding, if you know what I mean. Because before this, my world just involved school and home, and the internet. Apart from that, I've successfully taken it! yay.. and the law test will be on thursday. Hope I'll pass with just one try. And of course, the course took a whole day, so I had no time for the internet and drawing what so ever.

Oh, btw, I made this 2 days ago, when I'm bored and the internet kinda screwed up that I couldn't log on...





Whoever want to put this up in their website or wherever, I allowed it! just take it... and you can even erase my name there.. hehe.. (but I doubt anyone wants to take it anyway.. )

Friday, December 10, 2004

Day Dream

Uh.. my back and neck hurt! spend too much time in front of the computer... well, not very much though.. just an hour and a half. Maybe because I put too much concentration. (and this seat I'm sitting on has no back support..can't lean back! the computer's seat is downstairs, too lazy too take it back here).
So what did I do? hehe.. I day dreamt ... of new layout..
you see, I have forgotten lots about html.. and don't know much about css , let alone php... but I have this cute layout in my mind for weeks... I sketched it on my exam paper actually (weeks ago) in the exam hall (hoho.. bad mai.. bad mai..).
And today, I've made it in photoshop.. including the scroll bar there.. haha. it can't be moved (duh!).
I drew the simple flower there.. a minute sketch on A4 paper using artline210 pen 0.6 mm, then scanned it... and coloured it in photoshop (my first colouring ever.. haha.. turned out quite good).
Oh, and I forgot to draw a snail there as I planned... nevermind though..
When I did this, I just remembered Aneesah... to her, doing this may be so very easy.. (am I right? eheh)... *can you help me?? *... I'll learn how to publish this layout! I must.... without anyone's help! yay to me.. go me!

Oh.. this is the layout --> childish layout

Btw, I was actually painting this evening... but it turned out rubbish. well, what do you expect from a 'professional' ? with no reference or anything and I didn't use the watercolour my dad gave me..because I was afraid it might ruined or something.. instead.. I used my brother's poster colour.. heh. And, please ignore my lazy writings of my name and the date there.
And I did some sketches.. of building corner.. roof (I refered my father's architectural books).. and people.. hmm, maybe because it has been a very long time that I kinda forgot how to draw.. and what to draw.. lack inspirations. *sigh...need more practices!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Me? teacher?

Guess what? I've send an application form for a job as a teacher at my sister's school a.k.a. my former primary school. I'm kinda excited.. but not so.. because if I got that job, means I have less time to draw/paint. But I think I can still find time for it. And if I got that job, I'll get around RM 500 (I think...). And I want to buy many things! (actually very excited)
Heh.. still haven't started painting yet..couldn't find time for it. Today I went to my teacher's house, she invited us for lunch. And yeah, the lunch was so very delicious. Chicken rice ala egypt. She studied there.
Before the lunch (in the morning) we went to school to clean some rooms for new hostel and teacher's prayer room. Just the 8 of us. Kinda tiring. But felt it was worth it when tasted the food. After that we had discussion group. Then I went back.. so here I am.. so tired. And I need to sleep.
So, I want to sleep now... hehe

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Open house

Today we will have open house... will start at 5 p.m. (now it's 1.25 pm). My mum cooked all the dishes except satay (she ordered it). I've helped her from morning.. but not quite tired..
I've gone to a stationary (or stationery? I cant remember which one is the right one) shop and bought some stuffs I needed.. like watercolour paper.. drawing book.. brushes.. kneadable eraser.. special ruler.. french curve.. and so on.. I hope I can start paint as soon as possible..

Monday, December 06, 2004

Learning process

People have started asking me what am I going to do after this...
Well, first, I want to apply for a driving license. Maybe this week with my cousin (who is also just finished the SPM).
Then, I want to learn painting.. my father has given me his painting books (big and bulky and many). But I don't know when I could buy all the materials needed. I have to go to some special store to buy all of them.. maybe Rainbow... I don't know.
Then, I want to read all the books that i couldn't before especially religious books.. I need to deepen my knowledge in it. My parents have like a wall full of this kind of books. and I need to read them.
I feel like I've written about what I'm going to do after this , but couldn't remember where..
What else? oh.. I want to learn more about graphic and computer. You could help me, Aneesah :).
And I want to do many things! (I'm sleepy.. it's 3.15 am.. why am I awake?hehe)
Oh, I just got back from the programme I mentioned in the last post. Then I slept like 8 hours! haha . so now I'm awake.. and need to go back to sleep.. (my words are all messed up.. sorry)

Friday, December 03, 2004

SPM's over

The Exam is over!! what a relief.
But I can't rest for long because this afternoon I've to go to a 3 days programme.
I haven't packed yet... (ah.. I need more rest.. sigh..)

Anyway, the exam.... biology is hard for me.. I really hope for a miracle.. I really want 12A1's.
Maybe when the result has been announced , I will just shut my mouth and won't go out from my room. Hard to admit, but I'm really afraid... gee.

People say trial result may not forecasting ur SPM result.. like my sis... she got like 4 a's in trial.. and only 2 A's in the SPM....
I got 9 A's in the trial... maybe I can get more than that? based on all the papers.. the papers that I'm worried of are Arabic and Biology... so, can I get 10 A's? hard question... but I want straight A's.

just keep praying and hoping...